Monday, May 31, 2010

Is Lonestar One Word Or Two?

Dear Blog,

I was just looking through you for some evidence that I've been working on a television show that I sold last August, wrote last fall, and shot a pilot for this spring. But it doesn't look like I told you any of this. Probably because at each step I was sure it wasn't going any further and so it seemed less important than telling you about what my kids had thrown up that day.

Anyway, I did all those things and now you will be able to enjoy/hate the fruits of our labor this fall. Knowing me as many of you do you probably find it distressing that a large corporation like Fox would devote airtime to something that had fallen out of my head and dried on pieces of paper. You probably want to rush out and sell your Newscorp stock. That's fair. I'll wait. Now that your retirement portfolio is safe, let me just say that, well, I think the show's actually going to be pretty good. Maybe not Seinfeld good, but at least Rhoda good. If Rhoda was a drama about bigamy.

The downside is that we'll have to write all the episodes in LA which means that for the foreseeable future I'll be spending weekdays there and weekends at home. Amy is excitset about this, which is a new emotion she created that's equal parts excited and upset. Excited that there will finally be a show about bigamy on a major network. Upset that she will be alone with three children when it airs on Monday nights.

My absences have also taken a toll on the house. All the little things that used to get fixed when I was here and we were both just oozing free time seem to be permanently backburnered. I may have mentioned that our microwave started to beep randomly and turn itself on and off at will, just spreading noise and radiation around the house. But it's screwed into the cabinets which really makes taking it in a bigger task than Amy's up for or I have time for so it just continues to beep and cook air. There's also a window about halfway down our stairs that you can't actually reach, the sill of which snagged a piece of clothing we threw over the balcony to be washed. Since then we've just been throwing more clothes at the original stuck item to try to dislodge it. The result is a heap of clothing that runs about halfway up the window which grows each day. Again, a few minutes to dig out the ladder would probably fix it, but when you're just here two days a week you tend to hope that you're just one more piece of clothing away from starting the avalanche that will liberate everything.

Anyway, I'm excited. I'm sure we'll be canceled in short order once someone realizes their mistake, and then I'll have all the time in the world to fix microwaves and get clothes out of windows. Until then, I'm going to be paid to surround myself with brilliant people and make stuff up. Given that five years ago I was working in construction and crawling around in laundromat ceilings, I'll take it.


Matthew said...

Sounds like you needs a vacation.....

The show is going rock Fox! I see reunion episodes in it's future!

AME said...

As a person that loves a good polygamist plot twist I just have to point something out. Now I'll admit, I haven't actually seen the show (obviously) but I have watched the trailer a good three or four times and read quite a few posts about this show and I haven't seen any indication of actual "bigamy." What I've seen is one guy with one wife AND one girlfriend. A-hole? Yes. Bigamist? No. Unless of course, we're going to see Robert/Bob marry Midland girlfriend. I'm just saying you can't drop these kind of hints if your not going to deliver (for the love of God I endured enough of that from Lost)

On another note, I volunteer myself and Mike to dislodge laundry, fix/remove microwaves, and complete other helpful tasks during weekdays. I mean it. We can totally help out. Just email me.


itstartedwithawindmill said...

That microwave problem is something I've lived thru once and only once. The microwave got fixed by the nice service guy and then melted down again with sparks and smoke. It was really cool that microwave ovens in the 21st century can actually have sparks and smoke. It was a countertop model, so it was just a matter of finding a replacement. The original was actually only a few months old but it was sweet as all hell to see that bitch go to the dump.

I've missed Lonestar twice now. Once on account of fishing for bluegills and the other on some real Jerry Springer bullshit. I'm thinking about writing a reminder on my forehead so that I finally remember. It'll make my temporarily Jerry Springer existence even more exciting to have people ask why "LoneStar" is written on my forehead?!?!

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