Ask Me About Vomiting At The Austin Film Festival!

This weekend is the Austin Film Festival. I'll be on three panels including one that I think is literally called: Lone Star - What Went Wrong? I have to say that one of my new goals in life is to be on a panel where the name of my show isn't immediately followed by the words 'What Went Wrong?'. Anyway, by the end of the hour I'm sure we'll have it all figured out and the show will be back on the air.

Speaking of things going wrong (that's called a segue and anytime it's done that smoothly you know you're dealing with a really great writer) I just wanted to bring you up to speed on an incredible new negotiating tactic the twins have been using that might be of use to you in your daily life. It's called vomiting? Have you heard of this?

Basically, one of them got sick about a week ago (I can't remember who, they really look incredibly similar), threw up in her bed, and then just moved into her sister's bed without saying a word. When Amy discovered this in the morning she told that twin 'Honey, if you throw up in bed you should say something and I'll come down and change your sheets and clothes.' Can you guess what happened next?

For a week both twins have been forcing themselves to throw up multiple times each night in order to get us to come down and change their sheets and clothes. Apparently young kids have a very sensitive gag reflex that they can trigger just with a hard cough. So a couple times a night you'll hear AHEM! followed by 'Mommy, I threw up in my bed!'.

I should point out that the twins have both been declared 100% medically fine. Not sick in the least. Just really, really evil. So we've had to reverse course and tell them that they have to STOP this and no matter what we will NOT be coming down for any more vomiting in bed. We gave them each trashcans in the event that they had to throw up and for a couple nights all was quiet. Then last night Nixie tested us with a big AHEM! followed by the news that she'd thrown up in her bed. It's really, really, really hard not to move when you child says that, but if we don't teach them that you can't vomit to get what you want, who will? On the flip side, if they win and it keeps working I'm just going to take it up myself. You have notes I don't like? Vomiting on your desk. So, you know, think about that when you've got your red pen out.

Anyway, if we see each other this weekend (What? He segued back the Film Festival? How? It's black magic! He's a witch!) and you want to hand me a drink, or a offer me a place to take a nap that doesn't smell like vomit we can totally be best friends. And if you don't want to be best friends with the vomit covered creator of a failed television show I really have to ask what you hope to get out of coming to a film festival.

They've asked me to post my itinerary- I guess so you know how to steer clear. It's below:

FRIDAY, 10/22

1:45pm-3:00pm

The Black List

Driskill Hotel, Ballroom

The Black List: what is it, how to get on it, and what it can mean for your career.

Matthew Cook, Kyle Killen, Franklin Leonard, Malcolm Spellman, Tim Talbott

Moderated by Andy Langer

SATURDAY, 10/23

9:00am-10:15am

Creating a TV Bible & Pilot to Get You in the Room

Driskill Hotel, Ballroom

Top show creators and producers discuss what goes into creating a TV bible that will get you in the door. How much information should you include? Writing the pilot, character breakdowns, establishing worlds and how many episodes, if any, to include.

Sterling Anderson, Kyle Killen, Jorge Zamacona

Moderated by Monte Williams

SUNDAY, 10/24

1:30pm

“Lone Star”

Alamo Ritz

Screening of the short-lived 20^th Century Fox Television pilot followed by a discussion with Kyle Killen, show creator/writer/executive producer, about the TV industry, how it works, and how a show with so much promise - great press coverage (the cover of the NYT, no less!), great reviews, great writing, great cast - got cancelled after only 2 episodes.