Sunday, June 8, 2008

How Did You Sleep?

How did you sleep?
Me? I slept like a baby.
Really? That must have been awful.
Oh it was. I woke up screaming every couple hours for no apparent reason.
Sometimes I actually screamed in my sleep.
That must have been unpleasant for anyone sharing your room.
I'm sure. Did I mention that I defecated in my pants several times throughout the night?
No, you didn't. How embarrassing for you.
Oh that's nothing. One of the times I woke up screaming a nice man tried to help me out of my soiled garments and I actually ended up urinating all over him.
Oh yes. I was so embarrassed I screamed for almost an hour. The only way I could get back to sleep was by drinking large quantities of milk which I would then vomit just as I was nodding off.
What a strange way to fall asleep.
Isn't it? Frankly, I don't any of it was that restful. That might be why I've been crying at my desk all day and trying to stick my fingers in unprotected electrical sockets.
I was going ask.
What about you? How did you sleep?
Me? I slept like a log.
You lucky bastard.

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